Back to the Basics - Nichole

I spent a year with Lifeforce in 04/05.
Maybe not a full year. Actually, not even a half of a year. I won't get into details about it. I traveled across Canada with nine other people - one of them being Danaya. Since I was in high-school, my entire dream was to join Lifeforce. That might sound a little bit silly to you. Don't worry, looking back I'm forced to laugh at myself too. Lifeforce came to my school in 2000. I was in grade ten. Through this team of young people I dedicated my heart to Jesus. The first Bible verse I read was Isaiah 61. Ever since reading that chapter I've felt called to missions. To people. (Although this shouldn't be very surprising - I believe that all Christians are 'called' to the same thing.) More than anything, this chapter taught me about Christ, and more than that; who I should be aspiring to become.

I joined Lifeforce in 2004. Came home somewhere in March.
Then I began volunteering at the head office some time after that.
Why? Why would I do that?
Am I stuck on one idea and am not able to move forward?

I've been battling with these questions for over a year now.
Even while I'm working at the office - folding pamphlets, copying c.ds, stapling booklettes... I often (and quite guiltily) find myself wondering, 'What is the point of this all?" Evangelism. It's lost it's spark for me. I became quite cynical towards it - but still.. my heart remained sewn to the aymi ministry. (It really is a cult, you know. You'll never be able to escape it.)

People say all the time that attending programs like Street Invaders will 'change your life'. That after accepting Jesus 'my life was never the same again'. There was a point were all of this kind of stuff was real to me. I knew it in my heart because I had experienced it as well. Except now.. my focus has turned from outwards to inwards. How can I motivate the other Christians around me? How can I inspire growth in myself? Missions had kind of lost their initial zest.

There's a girl that comes into my pet store all the time.
She stays for hours on end. She walks around to every animal in the store and asks me if she can take it out. She's actually taken to pretending that she works at the store. If I'm cleaning out a tank, she'll ask if she can help. Of course, I say no - hoping that she will eventually get bored and leave. She'll wait around.. until I leave a mop bucket out and go to the back to grab more cleaning supplies. Before I know it, she is mopping the floors, giving customer's animal advice and passing out bunnies to all the little kids. I find it incredibly difficult to have patience with her.

This all changed when I became (semi) involved with our churches youth group and she happened to be part of it. Suddenly, that girl became my best friend. It was like, "Oh, you're a Christian? Well, that's awesome!' I felt so guilty for my behavior towards her in the beginning.

I look at my attitude now and am so disappointed with myself.

While my friend Pamela was attending Bible college at FGBC I met a girl named Jasmin.
I read her latest blog entry the other night and it turned out to be such a huge turning point for me. http://www.myspace.com/jasminwagner

She was going back to the basics.

' A missions trip for those of you, who have no clue, is where you are called to go out and minister to those who dont have Jesus Christ or dont know about him. This will bring you hope and love to fill that empty spot in your life with Jesus Christ. Thats what a mission trip is all about. God even changes your life while you are out doing his work. My life was changed significantly within just 10 days. I cannot look at a person now without wondering where they will be going when they die or do they have Jesus? Or wow I have Jesus and my life is great with him, that person may not have him...they are really missing out on such a life changing thing. I want them to feel how I feel because Jesus' love is for everyone and he has so much to offer and these people are missing it. They are missing out on the only thing they will ever need in life. WHY DONT PEOPLE WANT THIS? I dont understand. People try to fill the hole in there life with everything but Jesus, when it is Jesus they need. Not Material things, sex, guys, drugs, money, booze, partying and so on. These things get you no where and make you feel even emptier. They dont do anything. I have experienced it first hand and so has many other people. I just tried to fill the gap I had with all of these things which lead me to feeling the same way every day when all I needed to do was fill that gap with Jesus!'

Jesus does not look at the outward appearance, He looks at their hearts. There were so many people there with broken hearts and Jesus just wants them to know how much He loves them no matter how bad they smell or what they have or how dirty they are or what they have done wrong. He just wants them to feel His love so they wont have to be broken or hurting people anymore. They can be fulfilled and set free!! By having a relationship with Jesus and asking Him to come into their lives. It is only by the grace of God that I have a wonderful family that loves me. If it wasnt for Jesus love and mercy, I would be that hurting person searching for something more, looking for that something to fill the gap. I thank Him for that everyday. I thank God for such a close and loving family. I thank Him for the love He has shown me over my life. I know He will continue to show mercy and love towards me for the rest of my life. I just need to press into Him more. I know God has more in store for me, and that this is just the beginning.


Isn't this awesome?
After reading her entry (there's more to it than just this, by the way) I feel so refreshed.
It's nice to be seeing the big picture again rather than being caught in the little details.


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Nichole